"It was better than my heart on my sleeve; it was my heart on a page."- Aileen Buccella

               Another lecture topic I found I was able to relate very easily to was the topic of creative outlets and the enormous impact of silence on a person's psyche. This lecture was based off of The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins-Gillman and was a very informative and powerful introduction. The reason this lecture resonated with me was because not only did it help me to better understand the actions of the main character when I read the short story, it helped me to understand my own actions, as well. We were asked to discuss creative outlets; what are they and why are they important? We also discussed whether or not we had our own creative outlet and if so, what it was. It helped me to think about thought about my own creative outlets and, although I no longer have time for it, how long it persisted with me and even grew with me.
               Some people paint and draw, others create music or simply just listen, and some even do a physical activity such as exercising or gardening. For me personally, my outlet has always been writing (much to your surprise) and blogging. Growing up, I always loved to write and English was my strongest subject in elementary school and more so into middle school (until it got too complicated in high school). I wrote short stories and even a small book (they weren't very good they actually kind of sucked) and as I started going through the life-changing awkward stages of adolescence, I saw a peculiar change in my writing. I started to be able to write about emotion and thought and put the words that floated around and bounced all over my head onto a blank sheet of paper. It fascinated me how I could turn a meaningless blank, white, empty piece of paper made from a chopped up tree into a palpable form of intangible words and thoughts that existed only in my head; blocked out from the outside world-- to be seen and heard by others-- that is now made to be possible. I expressed my thoughts and emotions through writing and through pictures and quotes and poetry; everything as visual as possible and I could see what I was feeling. I have spent a great deal of time journaling (I've had the same journal since second grade, Maria loves it because it is Harry Potter themed) and writing down my thoughts and emotions whether they were happy or sad. As I grew older and became more technology savvy, I turned to online blogging and an amazing website named Tumblr. To this day, as I scroll through pictures, GIFs, and written posts and quotes by others, Tumblr has been my number one and favorite outlet; helping me to find others who can empathize with my emotions as well as posting my own thoughts whether privately or publicly shared with the Tumblr world. It was almost like therapy except I didn't have to tell anyone and force myself to be vulnerable; all I had to do was write it down and it was a releasing feeling, like first opening the top to a shaken up carbonated soft drink.
               This lecture helped me to realize the importance of an outlet to the human psyche. I thought deeply about what I would have done if I myself did not find an outlet to express built up and cultivated emotions or thoughts. We thoroughly discussed the damage what the suppression and silence of thoughts and emotions can do to someones mental stability; one needs some form of an outlet one way or another, it is simply impossible to survive with out one. The main character in The Yellow Wallpaper snaps mentally because she is denied the ability to talk about her emotions and thoughts and is not even allowed to write them down or express them in any form, thus causing her to burst and drive insane like rough water breaking down a dam. Each person has one whether they realize it or not and it is something that is not chosen on a whim but is developed over time as we develop as humans and our thoughts and emotions mature with us. We only realize it when it hits us one day how important one single action that you do is to yourself that may not be important to others and that is what you never let go of. Whatever it is you come to realize, never let go of it and never let anybody tell you that you need to stop; they do not live in your mind and in your body-- your health depends on it.